Energy Dynamics of Your Relationships

1. Release the need for drama!
The soap opera aspects of our lives are like the waves that agitate the ocean without changing the inherent nature of the ocean. The dramas in our lives appear much fiercer than they really are. They cannot upset us permanently unless we believe them and act upon this belief. Become aware of all of the drama that surrounds you. You will be shocked by how much drama is imbedded into our lives, our work environments, our families, our friends, etc. The more you can detach from this drama, the happier you will become. This is why spiritual teachers stress the importance of calming the mind and releasing attachments to people, places or events.
 
2. Self Love
Self love is perhaps my core value. The universe reflects back to us what we radiate out and if we do not radiate out a high level of self love we almost certainly are not going to like the landscape of our inner and outer lives. I firmly believe that self love is the cornerstone to create a life that works. Anything that is not created on a solid basis of self love will fall in time. Truly we can only love others to the extent that we love ourselves. And it is not easy to do this because often we attract people into our lives who challenge our attempts to honor ourselves and view our behavior as selfish.
 
3. The Mirror Effect
Our souls attract into our lives people who mirror our own patterns back to us. If there is anyone in your life that you really hate and cannot stand to be with, look at what personality traits that person has that really irritate you. Almost always you will find that this is a trait that you have as well. You cannot stand it in another person, because you do not like what you see in yourself.
 
4. Energetic First Impressions
Subconsciously, we all trust our first impressions and realize how important they are. When we meet someone for the first time, what happens is that our energy fields mesh together and they exchange information. If our energy fields complement one another in any way, we begin to feel that we like this person and we want to further the relationship. If a karmic relationship is involved, we feel more strongly drawn to that person even if we donít like them and often we wonít. These are the people we really obsess about and we donít know why. When we feel neutral about someone or instantly dislike them, usually our energy fields donít match and we can learn nothing from them. For example, when an old soul meets a baby one, usually they wonít like each other because with such dissimilar soul ages, there is little opportunity to either teach or to learn. This is how we draw into our lives the people we are meant to share them with.
 
5. Donít Take on Other Peopleís Problems!
Human beings are powerful creators. Our souls create every aspect of our life so that it can learn and grow and expand. Everything that we experience is created by ourselves but not necessarily by our conscious minds. In fact, most of our life experiences are created unconsciously either by the subconscious mind or the super-conscious mind or soul. Part of the spiritual growth process involves taking conscious control over the areas of our lives that are on automatic pilot.

So basically we create stuff and attract stuff into our life to learn from every day. This is fine for without our stuff, we wouldnít grow. But when we get involved with another personís stuff, watch out! It often is very easy for us to adopt and claim another individualís stuff for our own. The problem with this is that we donít learn as much from other peopleís stuff as we do from our own. It is important to compassionately acknowledge the stuff others experience in such a way that we donít claim it for ourselves. When we take over someone elseís stuff, even if they want us to, we deprive them of the experiences they need the most and ones that they have worked hard to create for themselves.
 

6. Choose your friends and sexual partners wisely!
A human being can be viewed as an energy system or a field of energy. The people that you hang out with or work with are important, because you become attuned to or resonate with their energy fields. When these people experience anything that emotionally sets them off, their energy fields swell and they literally reach out to the human energy fields around them and suck them into their energy vortices. This is perhaps OK when the person is happy, but not so good when they are angry or depressed. It is perhaps even more important to choose your sexual partners carefully. When you engage in sexual acts with another, you are trying to reach at-one-ment with that person. What happens is that your two (or more) energy fields merge together and your body will retain the energy of that other person for a month after the sexual act even if it is just an one night stand.
 
7. Honor and Respect Your Relationships!
We live in a very fast-paced society that is rapidly changing and this often makes it challenging to nurture a relationship and keep it going strong. I feel that one reason why relationships appear to fall apart faster than they used to is because people no longer honor and respect their relationships. This is reflected in many ways. Some of the more obvious manifestations of this are gossiping about your partner to friends and co-workers, being unfaithful sexually, playing control games with sex and money, etc. One thing I know is true and that is if you do not honor and respect the relationships of others then please do not expect others to honor and respect the relationships you have co-created with another.
 
8. Chakra Orientation and Relationships
Although we each have seven energy centers or chakras in the body and five outside of it, human beings tend to funnel their energy into one of them and this affects how we perceive the world and how we interact with others. Most people funnel their energy through the first chakra at the base of the spine and they filter life primarily through the physical senses. Others funnel their energy through the fourth or heart chakra and they experience life primarily through their emotions and feelings. Others funnel their energy through the fifth or throat chakra and they filter life primarily through their thoughts and ideas. A relatively small number of people funnel life through the sixth and seventh chakras - the inner/third eye and crown centers, and they perceive life with the awareness of unity with all that is or was or ever shall be.
 
9. Stop whining and complaining!
We energize our problems when we dwell on them or talk about them or worry about them. When people tell you their tales of woe, interrupt them and redirect the conversation to an area in their life that works. People often listen to these tales of woe and then twenty minutes later they wonder why their energy is so low. If you find yourself complaining or whining or dwelling on negative issues when you talk to others Ė STOP DOING THIS. You are just digging yourself deeper into a hole and it will be harder to get out. Instead, focus on the good things in your life and your loved ones life. One of my old co-workers summed it up best: What you feed grows. So be careful what you feed!!!
 
10. Learn about Myers Briggs
Many years ago, I used to temp and learning about the Myers Briggs personality types was a lifesaver for me because I could adapt my working behavior to meet the needs of my many bosses. The Myers Briggs test measures four traits. 1. Do you get your energy from within (introvert) or without (extrovert). 2. Are you intuitive (big picture person who sees a forest) or sensing (logical, sequential person who sees the trees). Are you a thinker (cares more about principles and procedures) or a feeler (who values relationships more). Are you judging (likes closure) or a perceiver (likes to keep things open-ended). Please Understand Me by Kiersey should be a must read book for everyone.

 

 

 

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